Dear Future me

Dear FutureMe,

What's up, future me? It's you, just a year before. It's the 14th of November, 2019. The domestic 22nd wavers just went out to take their KSATs. I guess you're done with your applications about now? You're probably just chillin' out in the dorms, playing video games and stuff. Can't blame you, can I? You've got less than a month to escape dorm. There's a lot of things I want to ask you about me(like how did your applications go, did you get more Bs, did you grow a few more centimeters, etc.) but I’d rather not. Because either I would be really depressed at the reality or wouldn’t believe what you say, that is. There are just a few things I want to tell YOU, from past to future. Kind of weird, isn’t it? Normally it should be the future to give advice to the past-self about this and that. So anyway, here it goes.

 The first thing is about your friends. I’m you so I know that you’re always scared about them. You’re scared of losing them, but you’re also scared of allowing them to be too close. You always have a smiling mask in your pocket, ready to wear them whenever your friends are near. Oh, I’m not saying you don’t care about them. You do. You do too much. You’re scared of crossing your friends, making enemies. I mean, you probably know better than I do about that time, and it’s really weird that I’m trying to teach you anything, but just one thing: Be honest with them. Your strength lies in the ability to approach anyone. People say keep a few close friends, you don’t need no more. I’m not going to apply that rule to you. I know you have shallow relationships more than you have deep ones. But, at least keep a handful of them that you can really express how you feel. It does take time, but I know you can make it happen.

 Next up, family. Our family is awkward, you know? On the outside, it couldn’t look merrier. And, to some point that’s true. We do love each other, I think. But thinking about it, there's little conversation going around in the house. We’re all stuck up in our own rooms, doing whatever we’re doing. We’re all not used to expressing our emotions, and it’s really difficult to say ‘I love you’. Maybe it’s a family thing. But, I’m always envious of people who can express their feelings clearly. So, what I wanted to say is, say ‘I love you’ at least once to your family before going to university. This is going to be really, really hard. Just thinking about it makes you shudder, am I right. But you gotta do it before it becomes too late. Be a man.

 One final thing. This one’s about you. You don’t have much faith in yourself. You always attack yourself. You’re not a genius, and neither are you a full-on hard worker. You’re not rich, not tall, not handsome, not even kind. Not truthful, always lying. Not brave, always scared of something. But it’s YOU. Not anyone else. You can’t be anyone else even if you wanted to. You have a lot of regrets(you’re probably regretting writing this letter at all), so please, let’s not make any more. Oh, and even though I said bad things about you(me), I actually did see some people who actually think I(you) am a decent person. So don’t worry about it too much.